We’re on the cusp of Mother’s Day and I have some things that I want to share with you.
By any one’s definition, Moms are said to be strong and unwavering in their determination to care for their babes. Moms multitask from the nipple to the never-ending list of household and career “to do’s,” in a seemingly nonchalant way, or so the story goes.
That’s the story, but sometimes the relationship we have or had with our mothers is painful, even traumatic, and bound up by the pressures and expectations we put on ourselves and our moms. Society tells us how we should feel about it in a Hallmark gift and card way. We aren’t shown that there are all kinds of moms or people playing that role, or that the relationship may not be loving or even safe for us. We love our moms because they are our moms! But we’re so hard on ourselves when it goes sour. Do we even dare to talk about it? I hope that if this is true for you, that you have someone to confide in. The challenge with this relationship is probably more common than we'd like to admit.
It’s hard to be a “good mom.”
From my personal experience with my mom and of being a mom, I like to think of us as kind, dependable, loving and ridiculously protective. As a mom, I had a hard time letting go. I feel LOVE for my kids deeper than any ocean imaginable. This includes my beautiful, kind and caring step sons.
But let me tell you the story of my mom. Mom had an early passion for music. This inclination was so strong that she spent her entire life exploring how to be the best pianist she could be. My mom surrounded herself with talented musicians young and old. Mom was “music.” That’s where I first learned about passion. The drive to master something in your life, over a long period of time is something that has stuck with my throughout my life. Passion is that keeps us going at Suzi’s Lavender.
Later in life, my moms passion shifted to trees. She fell in love and would knock on a complete stranger’s door to ask help in identifying her latest “crush.”
I don’t want my mom or her stories to be forgotten. Moms can teach us the most fundamental ways to be in life. To care deeply for and protect the people and things we love. To be considerate of others. To contribute to the world every chance we can. But moms also teach us to know ourselves and to genuinely care for that deeply personal relationship that we must first develop with ourselves. From there we can be moms and dads and positive members of our communities.
I hope you and your mom or the special person you call mom, have a wonderful Mother’s Day either together or apart. For some of us who’ve lost our moms, are estranged, or don’t talk to our moms, there isn’t really a choice. But I think that since the heart knows no distance, we can send our love to them, by taking special care of ourselves on Mother’s Day. I know my mom would love knowing that I have done just that!
Happy Mother’s Day!